


So Fucking Broken

by amandaskankovich



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-10
Updated: 2013-10-10
Packaged: 2017-12-28 23:39:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/998282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandaskankovich/pseuds/amandaskankovich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then before Ian knows it he’s pulling Mickey’s head towards his.<br/>He’s smashing his mouth against his and Mickey’s laughing.<br/>He’s been tricked.<br/>Hasn’t he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Fucking Broken

“You look like shit,” Ian tells him and to be fair…not really no. What he looks like is he’s given up.   
Because he has.   
It’s in the eyes though that’s all and the only way you’d notice is if you knew him enough to know better and Ian knows him enough to know better.   
Who else does?  
But what he looks like to the outside world is just the same. The dirtiest white boy in America with that beard again.  
He’s standing so close to him though and he’s probably drunk but Ian doesn’t smell booze but he must be on something. He’s not acting like himself when what he does is slide his hand up Ian’s thigh until it’s resting on his crotch and he doesn’t mean to react but then Mickey says, “Liar,” in this way and squeezes.  
And then before Ian knows it he’s pulling Mickey’s head towards his.  
He’s smashing his mouth against his and Mickey’s laughing.  
He’s been tricked.  
Hasn’t he?  
*  
Mickey’s daughter is two weeks old.  
Ian doesn’t want to know her name and Mickey’s not going to offer it.  
Ian’s relationship with his new actual boyfriend is 4 weeks old.  
Mickey doesn’t want to know his name and Ian doesn’t offer it.  
What Mickey does instead is blow Ian in the bathroom of Kev’s bar about ten minutes after tricking Ian into kissing him, into wanting him, into starting this shit all over again fuck this they are not starting this shit all over again he is done he is done he is done he is oh god.  
“Do. Not. Stop.” Ian says.  
*  
Ian pulls up his pants and Mickey wipes his mouth and then he smiles at Ian but there’s something not quite right about the smile.  
You know what people say? How when a person smiles but whatever thing you’re really feeling will be there in the eyes. You can smile but have angry eyes. You can smile but have sad eyes.  
There is nothing there in Mickey’s eyes. There is nothing there at all.  
And Ian wants to say something but he lost enough already just letting this happen. He’s supposed to be all moved the fuck on isn’t he?   
He has moved the fuck on.  
This was just a misstep but it’s not like they actually had sex.  
Did Mickey even…? He wonders.  
“Did you,” Ian begins.  
“What?” Mickey asks. He’s reaching into his pants pocket for a cigarette.  
Ian doesn’t want to finish the sentence and the whole thing feels off enough already but he can’t help not knowing.  
“Did you get off?” Ian asks, “I mean at all?”  
And Mickey just looks at him. He’s not smiling anymore. There’s nothing in his face and Ian can’t…  
Mickey puts the unlit cigarette between his lips and walks out of the bathroom leaving Ian behind.  
*  
And Ian follows him because he has gone this far why the fuck not and he has wasted so much of his life chasing after fucking Mickey Milkovich why the fuck not? What’s one more day? One more time?  
It’s just an instinct at this point.  
He’s powerless and admitting that to himself this weight lifts.  
Enough for him to grab Mickey by the shoulder.  
Drag him into an empty alley.  
Push him against the wall.  
To look at him.  
And see him.  
Because he’s always been the only person who ever really has.  
“You are so fucking broken.” Ian says.  
And there’s this flash in Mickey’s eyes and maybe it’s rage but Ian doesn’t fucking care because it’s something! And that is so much better than the nothing.  
“And?” Mickey says.  
Ian leans forward and before he knows what he’s doing his tongue is in Mickey’s mouth and his hand is sliding up Mickey’s thigh and this is such a mistake he knows it he knows it.  
But his hand is down Mickey’s pants now grabbing and squeezing.


End file.
